Former Secretary of State and four-star general Colin Powell used the 40/70 Rule as a part of his decision-making process. He says that if you have less than 40% intel or information to decide, you are “shooting from the hip.” Yet if you wait until you have 70% or greater to decide, you are considered indecisive, or maybe overwhelmed, and behind the curve in moving on your decision.
While I respect and admire Secretary Powell — and have always had a secret crush on him — when I talk about the 40/70 rule in a home care setting, I’m referencing the senior care planning concept from New Zealand.
On the literal other side of the planet from us, the Kiwi government uses 40 and 70 as age markers for when families should begin (at the absolute latest) talking about long-term care planning.
In New Zealand, if you’re the oldest adult child, turning 40, and your parents are still with you, it’s time to start talking to them about their long-term care plans.
On the flip side, if you are a parent turning 70, it’s time to start talking to your adult children or loved ones about what you want your long-term care plan to be.
The Case for Planning Early
I know 40 sounds young, and frankly, so does 70. But I can give you a case-by-case list of calls I have received from families who never thought to come up with a plan of care until it was needed. I can’t count the number of times an adult child has told me they have no legal paperwork in place and have no idea what their parents genuinely want in their not so glorious moments.
During those calls, it feels like you’re is free-falling without a parachute.
Imagine this, dementia is presenting, and you have no diagnosis. You just caught the signs during a recent visit, and your parent was mentally strong enough to navigate the subjective questionnaire their physician ran through during their last appointment.
Despite what the questionnaire said, you know your parent is not the same. First, it was just that their personal hygiene seemed to decrease. Then your mom called saying, “Dad took a few hundred dollars out of the bank and it was hanging out of his pocket. When I asked him about it later, he didn’t know what I was talking about?” Now you are wondering what your dad has done with the money, and who may have his ear. But without legal paperwork, you have no right to find out how much money has been pulled from the account or for how long these withdrawals have been happening.
I had a friend who’s father had moments of delirium and was sold, over the phone, a $7,000 air-condition unit for his home. Luckily, she caught it before delivery and was able to reverse the charges, but she had to take a half-day off of work and spend hours on the phone uttering very strong words to have her father’s card re-credited for the charges.
Remember the 40/70 Rule
If you are an adult turning 40, it’s time to talk to your parents. Choose your words wisely and know that it may take several conversations. Start by asking about their wishes, getting an understanding of any plans they already have in place, and prepping the necessary legal paperwork.
And if you are 70 — I know, 70 is the new 50 — please start having a conversation with your spouse and children about your wishes and expectations. We are all living longer with more chronic illnesses. Start carving-out the foundation of a long-term care plan now so you don’t have to worry about it later.
Stay Inspired,
Shonda